Time to head to the big city. My dad took us to Shenzhen and showed us the world’s shiniest mall (above). Driving into Shenzhen, it quickly became apparent that China is the world’s frontier. Cindy decided to count the number of cranes she saw along the way. She stopped trying after #80. If there is anything happening in the world, it is happening in China. The juxtaposition of of rickshaws carrying bamboo and BMWs is a frequent occurrence. The residential equivalent is shanties next to soaring skyscrapers. And all of this happened in three decades.

Cindy enjoys her meal

Inside the shiniest shopping mall ever was our lunch stop. If you’re not familiar with Chinese cuisine, there are four main types (I think), with each main type having several sub-groups. The diversification of food occurred due to people living in different climates, and thus cooking with different ingredients, for 4000 years. For instance, in southern China, where it is warm and wet, rice is the primary carb. In the north, where it is drier and more seasonal, wheat, in the form of noodles, dumplings, and buns, is the primary carb.

Now, with modern transportation, migration, and refrigeration, all parts of China can eat all kinds of Chinese food, but everyone recognizes the regional origins of each type of food. For lunch, my dad brought us to a Sichuan restaurant. This type of cuisine is instantly recognizable for its prodigious use of chilies and the Sichuan pepper. When he came for my wedding last year, my dad remembered that Cindy’s family eats lots of chilies and thought this would be appropriate. We had eight dishes, soup, fresh squeezed orange juice, and tea. It cost $40.

After lunch, we were exposed to the full scope of China’s nouveau riche philosophy. Unbeknownst to us, someone decided to create a theme park in Shenzhen with miniature versions of all the world’s greatest landmarks. They called it “Window of the World” and it’s complete with rides, trams, and shows. It’s pretty much the kitschiest thing ever. Enjoy.

Window of the World

Heh heh heh

Niagara Falls

Sorry, Hawaii friends

Paper mache Mt. Fuji

Just in case you read Hieroglyphics

This is pretty much all of southeast Asia

The White House from Independence Day

Because every miniature Taj Mahal should have a T-Rex next to it

There’s something post-apocalyptic about this

You get the point. Cindy and I asked ourselves if we could just stop our world tour now since we just saw everything. We decided we should keep going. My dad then took us to the expat area of Shenzhen, complete with Senor Frogs and Irish pubs. Why are Irish pubs the ubiquitous sign of expats? They are to expats as Whole Foods is to gentrification. We had some coffee, served by another unfortunate sign of expat presence, scantily clad local women.

Our coffee cost more than our lunch